are you so shy because you have an std?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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