Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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