I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
it's not cheating when I paid for it
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
