Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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