btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
