why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
All the doctor said was why
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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