she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
