i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize