I think my vagina is haunted
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
