You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize