But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
