I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just forgot I was standing up.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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