why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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