I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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