haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
