OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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