So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
