She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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