I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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