You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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