Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
