He disabled his match.com account in front of me
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
