Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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