Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
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we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
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I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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