Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
