i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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