Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
