When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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