I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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