so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
