Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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