3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
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Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
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Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
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