Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
