I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
