Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office