Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE