Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.