you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.