I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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