I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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