East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize