ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
