I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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