Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
