We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
