Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize