ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize