Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Randomize
