I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize