ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't watch enough power rangers
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize