Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
