also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm at about main and main street
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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