Someone shit on the floor
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
