My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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