im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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