i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
