The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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