so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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