We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize