so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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