I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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