Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
