in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
and she was petting her beer can
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
