At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
