my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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