Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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