The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
