If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
is wine microwaveable?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
There's always time for handjobs
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
